Living with the Awkward Silence

     So you’re sitting in a generic restaurant like olive garden with a group of people you know, but only slightly well.  That boring girl is telling that story you’ve already heard 3 times again where her friend was driving out in the country and accidentally “killed two birds with one car”.  After a few courtesy chuckles, an AWKWARD SILENCE commences, catching everyone by surprise. What do you do?  From the beginning of time, the human race has been plagued with awkward silences and poor responses to these events.  Solutions to this problem varies upon situation, but to the social novice, it is best to sit still, and most importantly, AVOID doing any of the following.

Don’t stare at anyone.  You may notice that once the silence has begun, your acquaintances will start averting their gaze towards inanimate objects.  If you choose to stare at another human being, you will face the consequences.  They will ask you, “What? What are you looking at?” My socially clumsy friend, you have dug yourself a grave.  No possible response will save you now.  Instead, choose to stare at that vase on the table with a fake tulip, or better yet, retreat to the bathroom.

No stories.  You may suddenly find this an opportune moment to share about that time where you cut yourself shaving and had to get stitches, but unfortunately, it is not.  Rather, keep your mouth shut and let someone who is more verbally flamboyant interrupt the silence.