Fatal Food Flaw #1

     Wednesday nights are normally free soup nights, and are therefore my most favorite night.  To ruin the mood yesterday, the free soup had been forgotten.  Immediately I used this as an excuse to go to my new favorite pizza place in Wellington, “Hell Pizza”.  When I first heard of this place and how they had pizzas named after sins, my first thought was, “I need the Gluttony pizza”.  And yes, it did exist, and yes, it was amazing.  Anyway, yesterday my decision was to create my own pizza, which allowed me to choose 8 different toppings, all for the price of $14.  Being the penny-pincher that I am, I decided to choose 8 of what I believed to be the most expensive toppings: salami, bacon, asparagus, tomatoes, garlic, pineapple, mushrooms, and unfortunately… anchovies.  I had never had anchovies on my pizza prior, and after yesterday, never again.
     As I sat, waiting and reading my bible in Hell (not kidding, I really did), I daydreamed about how great my pizza was about to be.  When it finally arrived piping hot, and I took my first bite, I suddenly gagged from the nauseating salty anchovies, clearly God inflicting punishment upon me.  If that pizza had a name, it would be Wrath.  Moral: Just because all the ingredients are expensive, doesn’t mean it tastes good.  I mean, I still finished it.

Simon is unprepared, and faces the consequences

     I spent the past weekend with the dudes.  That means there were just 3 of us: Joncas, my roommate Steve, and me, with a peach pink Corolla station wagon.  Now, to get to Palmerston from Wellington involves a long 2 hour train ride, where sleeping was heavily involved.  Steve sleeping is really quite a sight.  Normal people bob their head up and down in a vertical motion when they are nodding off.  Steve, on the other hand, involves all 360 degrees of action.  Therefore when he nods off, he makes quite a fool of himself.  3 kiwi girls across the aisle were there to witness this event, and eventually I joined their laughter to wake Steve up. 
     We come into Palmerston by 7pm, extremely hungry, and somehow decided to get Chinese takeout.  All three of us got the large $11.50 plate, and piled the food on.  I was pretty surprised that they didn’t charge me extra for the mound that I put on.  Craig is trying to be healthier these days, and having us come over was not conducive to this.  He passes the blame unto us.  
     Palmy is just another college town (Massey University), with not much to do besides go to pubs and eat cheap food.  While we were walking back, a car full of drunk girls passed, whistling and shouting incoherently at us, and I was very surprised, because in Berkeley, GUYS do that to girls, not the other way around.  This was the first time I have ever been shouted at by a car of girls.
     After deciding which hikes to do the next day, we went over to a pub to play pool.  Craig Joncas is an excellent pool player.  Steve and I lost horribly, but we all blamed our performance on the amount of beer we had.  I blamed the amount of alcohol I had too, even though I only had 3 beers.  If alcohol is good for anything, it’s for steak and excuses.
     The next morning, we hiked up to Sunrise hut in an hour and a half.  The sign said it would take 3 hours.  Near the top, it suddenly became extremely chilly and started raining… VERY hard.  I was so wet that by the time I got back to the hostel, I was still drenched.  Fortunately, I did not pack an extra set of clothes, and sat shivering next to heater in the living room.  As we sat eating tacos and watching Jackie Chan’s “The Medallion”, I recounted my stupidity.

     I realized how much time I waste while I’m here in New Zealand.  Back at Rosemere Backpackers yesterday, I put my wet clothes in the washing machine out on the porch, and asked the other American Simon (graduated from Arizona University, now he’s in New Zealand for no apparent reason) how long the washing machine takes.  He said 30 minutes.  If I were in Berkeley, I would spend the 30 minutes waiting for laundry to do something productive, but but I’m not at Berkeley, so I sat myself down on the porch and played snake on my cellphone for 30 minutes.  Life is good.

More than 2000 km, more than $200

     On Friday morning, three girls (eldest girl, awkward girl, cute girl) and I clambered onboard the ferry in Wellington headed for Picton. I brought my own breakfast, but the others weren’t quite as frugal, so they bought the pricey ferry food instead.  Of course, one of the girls (the cute one) couldn’t finish the big portion that she bought, so I helped out.  And I can’t believe, that I was sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kebab.  When we arrived in Picton, the car rental receptionist asked us if we wanted to get car insurance, to which awkward girl immediately replied, “My mom always tells me not to buy insurance because it’s a waste of money.”  Right in front of the receptionist.  Awkward pause ensues. 

     But before long, we were right on our way, driving on the left side of the road. Aside from the mediocre collection of music and awkward girl’s insistence that the window be open while it was freezing outside, the ride was smooth, and the scenery was terrific.  Cute girl was really into photography, and she had one of those cameras where the lens was more expensive than camera itself.  Additionally, when you pressed the shutter, it make a real clicking sound rather than the digital click that canon powershots made.  My new camera was far weaker but was about the size of a business card.  Side by side, cute girl’s camera was maybe 10 times the size of my camera.  I told her it was because I’m not trying to compensate for something.     
     So we drove along, making repetitious compliments to the scenery and telling our life stories.  Boy do I love talking to white girls.  These are the only people I’ve ever met who are impressed by my ability to speak Chinese.  None of the girls at UC Berkeley fall for that one anymore.  After what seemed like a really short time, we arrived at our first hostel in the middle of the night.  There were only two rooms with two beds in each, so we had to split up.  Guess who got to room with cute girl?  You bet.
     Queenstown is your typical ski resort town.  In other words, it’s seriously all fun and games.  There are so many places and opportunities to waste your money, and not a single place to learn something valuable.  All the houses here are vacation homes, and I don’t think there is a school or a library anywhere.  After my car joined up with the conglomerate gang at our hostel, we split up to do our own activities.  The one thing I regret about this day is that I should have wasted $240 to go bungee jumping.  Although I don’t enjoy huge drops, there’s something about hopping off a cliff helplessly suspended by a rope that intrigues me.
     That night was a big night.  After we watched a game of rugby (I’m really into the All Blacks now), a lot of the group participated in what we would later call “Blackout City”.  Kevin, the only person younger than I am from the group (by 1 month), wasted $400 playing roulette, while the others… well… they don’t quite remember.  Some of my friends reading this will wonder, “Did Simon participate in ‘Blackout City’”?  Here’s a hint for you.  “No.”
     After the beautiful Milford Sound tour, we drove up on the west coast, seeing some more beautiful scenery on the way.  Unfortunately, it did not snow, so I didn’t get a chance to show off my amazing ability to put on tire chains.  In Franz Josef, a small little town before Greymouth, we met up with the group again and participated in a night of alcohol and “Never have I ever”, where I learned the different sex positions and sex venues of my peers.  Fortunately, I went to sleep by 10.

The rest of the trip back was less eventful.  Pictures will suffice.

Milford Sound

Will Smith is America, and so can I

A few days ago was the great annual celebration.  There were some leftover burger patties after I had finished my first burger, so naturally, I helped myself to them.  As I was stuffing my face with potato salad, fries, and my second 1-pounder burger on the dining room table, the other Bay Area representative Becca commented,

“Wow Simon, you eat a lot!”

“Get over it.”  I replied.

This past weekend two guys from Palmerston North, Kevin and Craig Joncas, came over in their peach Corolla station wagon.  Other oddballs include Nicole from Socal, who not only bought a pair of Kanye glasses but wears them on a daily basis.  Psycho.  She has a friend from Johns Hopkins named Justine, and I was surprised that she didn’t know the famous Byron Tang.  Byron, you need to put some more pictures of yourself around campus.

Sunday, I played my first real game of basketball since school ended…  Luckily Kevin is not a kiwi and therefore actually knows how to dribble a ball.  Craigslist just watched.  Anyway, a huge weekend is coming up soon, so I have been spending loads of time taking care of the logistics of said trip.